Pretty Good Traffic Joke

The below joke was emailed to me by one of my lead-footed, repeat customers. I don’t know how wrote it but would be glad to give credit is whoever did. Anyway, I hear a lot of traffic ticket jokes and this one is better than most.

A police officer stops a driver for running a red light.

The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

The officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.

The “Motorist” instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms.

The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.

When he gets done with writing the ticket he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket.

He then hands it to the “Violator” for his signature.

The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for.

The Officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an Asshole!”

Two months later they’re in court.

The “Violator” has such a bad driving record he is about to lose his license and has hired a lawyer to represent him. (the usual bullshit).

On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light.

Under cross examination the defense attorney asks:

“Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket you issued my client?”

Officer responds, “Yes sir, that is the defendants copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.

Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?”

Officer: “Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”

Lawyer: “What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”

Officer: “Aggressive and Hostile Sir.”

Lawyer: “Aggressive and Hostile?”

Officer: “Yes Sir.”

Lawyer: “Officer, Are you sure it doesn’t stand for Asshole?”

Officer: “Well Sir, You know your client better than I do!”

CASE CLOSED!

About Matthew Weiss

Matthew J. Weiss, Esq. loves fighting any traffic ticket or speeding ticket issued anywhere in New York. He graduated Hofstra Law School in 1984. He was Law Review and won the law school's prestigious Procedure Award. Upon graduation, he became one of the first Hofstra Law School graduates to work at the New York State Court of Appeals (New York State's highest court) working on various appellate matters. Mr. Weiss then worked for two years at Rivkin, Radler, Bayh, Hart & Kremer, a 200-plus attorney law firm, representing various clients, such as municipalities, insurance companies and large corporations, in various litigation matters. He also continued to do substantial appellate work. In 1991, Mr. Weiss co-founded his private law practice eventually buying out his former partner in 2000. Through the years, Weiss & Associates, PC has successfully resolved 1,000s of traffic tickets and trucking tickets for its clients by way of dismissal or plea bargain. Mr. Weiss has written many articles on vehicle and traffic law, and lectures other lawyers on this subject. His blog "Confessions Of A Traffic Lawyer" regularly discussions various vehicle and traffic law issues.
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